…to no man’s tune
We do not see our foolishness
until it is too late to matter
reality falls heavily and I see at last
the fool that I have been
I held my dreams close
holding fast to the promises
of our tomorrows
the whispers that told of a future
a life beyond the lies
only to awaken to the truth
long after the final bell had rung
and to the knowledge
that our dreams had faded away
with the sinking sun
I was enamoured of you
my knight in shining armour
accepted the crown
that you placed
upon my head
to find, in my desolation
that your knighthood
was nothing
but a ruse to win my heart
indeed you were a knave
a jester, a fool in every way
and you weaved duplicity like silk
orated promises
from the hidden bones of lies
broke every covenant
along with my heart
which now
in shattered pieces, lies
and I, a fool, was fooled
by your wickedness
I saw the me
that you showed me
in my mirror
I saw the you, that you posed
beside me in the frame
I failed to see the warnings
the first fractures
becoming cracks
until the mirror broke to pieces
as I stood in ruins
until the image of you
that my mind recognised
lay broken on the floor
indistinguishable from the pieces
of my heart and soul
torn and bleeding
the battlefield abandoned
but for the casualties of war
I was alone in my dismay
struck with lightning and with shame
left wondering
what kind of man you were
to employ such strategies
for shallow gains
without regard for all that remains
in the wake of your deception
and your cruel selfishness
I stand in the debris
of the life I thought was mine
and I turn to walk away
a fragment of the mirror
catches my eye
and I see myself made new
lines of sorrow now mark my skin
a trail of tears now fading in the light
I look at the stranger
looking back at me
a woman with my face
the woman is a warrior
a creature of beauty and strength
it seems that she
is the evolution of me
who rose above
your treachery and greed
the things that define your need
to discover that indeed
you no longer
have anything I need
but whilst it was never your intention
you gifted me the greatest boon
the knowledge that I am enough
and that I dance to no man’s tune
© Ann Bagnall
