It feels to me that there are dark things swimming around in the depths of our social media environment at the moment (more than the norm). Lot’s of negativity and defensiveness, people taking sides, attacking others, supporting others (and then being attacked). Blocking and being blocked, vague (but not vague enough) comments being made and then the expected reactions and retributions. Things have been getting a bit tribal and lines are being drawn and expectations are being set, only to not be met and then the cycle continues.
So what’s new social media? Lots of us are all a bit over this lack of tolerance and respect, this breaching of boundaries, this expectation that everyone will agree with anything that is said or done, that everyone needs to behave in the same heinous manner in order to build respect and acceptance in the universe in which we swim. Lots of us are a bit over the unfettered hunger for numbers. Numbers of followers, numbers of likes, numbers of people you can shame, or frighten or attack or stalk or disrespect, or humiliate or disregard, numbers of boundaries you can breach and people whose confidence and personal sense of safety you can erode, just by doing you and expecting others not to do them.
The vicious playground vibes are thrumming like pain and suffering, because pain and suffering are indeed what all this childish posturing and bullying results in. It reminds me of the odd history of nursery rhymes. You know, those things we teach our children for fun? So many of them, like social media, are presented as fun and something innocuous, when this is far from the truth.
Goosey Goosey Gander (1784) is said to be about religious persecution, when Catholic priests would hide themselves to say their Latin-based prayers, a major no-no at the time (not even in the privacy of one’s own home). The original version refers to an old man “who wouldn’t say his prayers. So I took him by his left leg. And threw him down the stairs.”
London Bridge is falling down (1744) depending on the source, could be about a 1014 Viking attack, child sacrifice, or the normal deterioration of an old bridge. The child sacrifice refers to a much debated theory that in order to keep London Bridge upright, its builders believed that it must be built on a foundation of human sacrifice, and that those humans involved (mostly children) would help to watch over the bridge and maintain its sturdiness.
Mary Mary quite contrary (1744) actually describes a murderous psychopath. Despite people thinking it is about gardening, it recounts the the homicidal nature of Queen Mary I of England (Bloody Mary), a fierce believer in Catholicism, responsible for the execution of hundreds of Protestants. Silver bells and cockle shells are torture devices, not garden accoutrements.
Ladybird, Ladybird is said to be about 16th Century Catholics in Protestant England and the priests who were burned at the stake for their beliefs.
Three Blind Mice is believed to refer to a trio of Protestant bishops, Hugh Latimer, Nicholas Radley and the Archbishop of Canterbury, Thomas Cranmer, who conspired to overthrow Bloody Mary. They were burned at the stake for treason and heresy. It was mistakenly believed that Mary also blinded and dismembered them, as the rhyme goes, as if being burnt alive wasn’t enough.
Humpty Dumpty is possibly about King Richard III of England, who was often portrayed with a humpback and went to war at the Battle of Bosworth, where he fell off of his horse and was chopped into pieces by his rivals.
So it’s not hard to draw similarities between the covert bullying and gaslighting that goes on on social media and the dark undertones of the seemingly fun rhymes we have taught our children since long before social media was a thing.
It makes it easier to see how people think that it’s fine to treat people with disrespect as long as it looks like fun to someone. As long as it makes someone laugh, and it brings attention to the perpetrator, then the people targeted and pilloried, left angry, sad, hurt, and all the other shades of ‘not okay’, is a seemingly small price to pay.
So this week I thought I might provide a little light relief for anyone who might need it. There is a wonderful children’s book called “How To Be A Lion” written and illustrated by Ed Vere. Essentially it is a story about a lion called Leonard , who is also a poet, and whose best friend is a poetic duck called Marianne.
Leonard is confronted by the other lions, demanding to know why he has not ‘chomped’ Marianne, because that is what lions do.
They explain to Leonard that lions are fierce.
The lions, as a group, believe that Leonard must chomp Marianne because “there is only one way to be a lion”.
In the course of the story, Leonard and Marianne decide that there is indeed more than one way to be a lion.
So brave as a lion should be, Leonard informed the other lions that he would not chomp his friend and said to them: “Why don’t you, be you …And I, will be I”
The moral of the story being in part, that you do not have to roar to be heard.
Leonard and Marianne continued to be the best of friends and continued to read and write poetry together.
So I guess my message this week is about how we, as a community:
- comprised of all the variations of diversity
- with all our many shades of difference and similarity
- united in our humanity
- and connected through our love of words
(words crafted for good not evil)
(words to be shared and enjoyed and celebrated)
we, as a community, do not have to roar to be heard.
We can be the ‘I’ that we want to be. We can love all the different ‘I’s’ that comprise our wonderful poetry community. We can enjoy poetry together and apart. We can share with and learn from each other.
We have no need at all to ‘chomp’ each other.
We can certainly be childish if we want to, but in a joyous way. Far removed from the unpleasantries that others seem to strangely enjoy inflicting on people that they don’t even know and who are doing them no harm.
Let’s try to to keep taking care of each other as well as taking care of ourselves. I have a feeling that Leonard and Marianne would approve of our community!
Here is a link to a video of Ed Vere reading his wonderful book for your Sunday watching pleasure:
You will notice in one of the illustrations I included above (and Ed also mentions this in the video) that the books that Leonard and Marianne are reading are titled The road not taken (by Robert Frost), and Hope is the thing with feathers by Emily Dickinson.
I think these are very apt for my message this week. Let’s take that road less travelled (as it makes all the difference). Let’s also keep hope in our souls (as it never asks a crumb from us).
“Hope” is the thing with feathers’ by Emily Dickinson
“Hope” is the thing with feathers –
That perches in the soul –
And sings the tune without the words –
And never stops — at all –
And sweetest — in the Gale — is heard –
And sore must be the storm –
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm –
I’ve heard it in the chillest land –
And on the strangest Sea –
Yet — never — in Extremity,
It asked a crumb — of me.
‘The road not taken’ by Robert Frost
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
